I used to

by Veamm   Mar 13, 2009


I used to

I used to think too much
Think things about her
I used to sit comfortably
While staring at her secretly

I used to read and write
Do things about her
I used to say lame jokes
Still, she laughs on it suddenly

I used to draw a lot
Draw her, its a nice memory
I used to color them
Her lips that fascinates me

I used to be a boring man
But, because of her I'd change
I used to walk alone
Yet, she's there walking with me

I used to be my normal self
And, I want to be her companion
I used to make a poem
A poem for her, coz, it makes me happy

Dedicated for my mother
Klover
10/03/0912.45am

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Latest Comments

  • 12 years ago

    by Xanthe

    "Think things about her"
    ---Revise this to "Think about her", 'things' is quite obscure.
    "Her lips that fascinates me"
    ---eradicate 'that'. Fascinates should be singular because the subject (lips) is plural. If the subject is plural, the verb (fascinates) must be singular, and vice versa.
    "But, because of her I'd change"
    ---"I'd" could be 'I had' or 'I would', both would be grammatically incorrect. Change this to: "But, because of her, I changed"
    Overall, a really nice dedication to your mother. This is a personal piece and criticisms are unnecessary, but you asked for them. Anyway, I enjoyed reading this. The emotion just seeps through. Nicely done.
    -X

  • 12 years ago

    by Max

    This is so emotional and so nice
    i truly love this but there is one small thing
    "Do things about her"
    here about is not of a meaning
    better be with or to thats just a suggestion
    other than that u did gr8 work 5/5 =)

  • 12 years ago

    by L

    This poem made me cry,
    mom's are the best!
    They are always there and so TRUE ( i feel like a recorder) mom's change us. They teach us and they never get tired of walking along with us. There aren't enough words to say how much my mom means to me. I always and will always fall short on them, but this poem moved me. They are also our friends even when we might not think of it that way. I like that you placed it the friendship section.

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