Deadly Memories

Why do I put myself through this daily pain?
Trying to reach for someone
Who will never be there

Wishing on every single star
That I was with you
Where ever you are

Throwing me out of your life
Left out in the cold
I cried for you to save me
From this oh so real nightmare
But I was alone

I screamed
And tried to claw my way out of myself
So I wouldn't have to feel the hurt

A part of me was missing
And could not be replaced

Your eyes had been the window
To the other half of my soul

But you took that away
You threw me away

So screaming and thrashing and trying to look out
Searching for something to heal my broken heart
You were nowhere to be found

I saw you the other day
Feeling a flutter of hope
You looked
Then turned the other way

We spent a summer in the sun
Thinking the world of each other
I could never help but smile
You were every part of who I was

I don't know who the hell I am
Anymore
I seem to have lost my self
While attempting to get back what I had before

Waltzing to the song within our hearts
The lyrics were the love in your eyes
And the rhythm
The taste of your lips

Sitting in an empty room filled with cob webs and dust.
Starring absently at the wall.
Starting to think, I feel
myself begin to fall

Deeper into,
Deeper into nothing.

Walking down the street of the ghost town that is my soul
Glaring at the sky,
Wishing I wasn't alone.
And wondering why
I have let you bring me down

No incentive to live
Without you by my side
Thinking of the times
When it was you and I

Laying under the stars
Held so close so warm in your arms
Hearing nothing but whispers of love in my ears
I felt free of every fear

Except one
Loosing you

Ripping my hair out
Scratching at my face
Screaming in silent
Agonizing pain

We had been so happy together
Holding hands and walking down the street
Dancing in the rain
With a kiss to end the day

Spirit being long dead
Every drop of blood was a memory of ours
I couldn't get you out of my head
I let it all go

Watching those thoughts of us
Wash down the drain
A simple slip of the hand
And there was no going back

To the days when we laughed
At the silly little things that I said
I would blush
You would hold me closer and say you loved me so much

Drowning in my own blood
Illusions of being held in your arms
I didn't have much to say
I hated to love you
You just loved to hate me

Deadly memories running through my mind
My first and only love has been the end of me

Dancing
Laughing
Loving and feeling

Nothing but a recollection
Of what was once was my life