I like it Rhys! This is very emotive, and it relates to so many people in the world. A few changes that possibly could be made: |
by JustKristina
Good work! I kinda like the elipses. . it shows how after each thing, your thoughts trail off, you move on to a new thought. I also like the short sentence structures, it show's the urgency. I think though, that the ending could be more powerful. With just a little bit of tweaking, this could be a freaking fantastic poem! :] |
It was short and sweet- i really liked it :] |