Two Empty Souls

Wow. I really loved this poem. I love how you didn't come right out and say what it was about. It's good to let the reader wonder sometimes, let them use their imagination. :]

I reeaally loved the rhyme scheme though, and the imagry. Everything just fit together and flowed so well. I kind of felt like I was in an old dark castle or like a swamp at midnight. Just some place that's scary.. where ghost tend to linger. Haha. I thought you did an excellent job!

A misty apparition,
Moving silently around.
Bending light...
Bending Gravity...
Never making a sound.
----- That was one of the best beginnings I think I've ever read. I think it's harder to get a good beginning than ending.. but that's just me. Anyways yours was great. :]

Keep writing!

Cayce

Amazing work. The silent and ghostly atmosphere, perfect flow and structure left me breathless. The content of this poem is amazingly organized; it rises with each stanza like a thread of smoke that's floating up, up, up. I also like how you repeat each idea in the third and fourth line of every stanza; it gives the poem a whole new outlook on things...

One thing I'd like to suggest is don't use the "..." so much. I understand that it's about the only punctuation that means what it means, but try to be creative with the keyboard. Parenthesis and [] might help to connect 'scattered' thoughts like those.

Gorgeous master piece. I've nominated it for the weekly contest.