Twisted Assurance

When smiles fade
and tears fall
the only thing
that makes the world
okay
is always you.

He offers me laughter
and fun,
passion and romance,
smiles and forbidden touches.

Always with
the sense of longing.
Need.
But always ending
short.
For secrets never
last long.
Enough.

You offer me
Forever.
A chance to be
with you.
To share our
happiness and
pain.
To smile, but
also cry.
To be okay
with who we are.
To love
unconditionally.

Perfection in imperfection
is something I adore.
But your perfection
has no flaws.
The thing that makes you
so wonderful.

To hold fear
in promises of Forever.
Shouldn't it be
impossible?

I take in
security
from you.
Something I
need more then
air.

Yet I fear
Forever.
And with a
sunken heart,
I know there
wont be a
Forever.
Not with you.

The more
I love you,
the more
the curtain
closes in
on Forever.

Soul mates?
I used to
think so.
What has
changed?
Me.
I will always
love you.
And Forever
is something
I'll always crave
from you.
But doubt
will always
linger.
And the need
for something
I know you
can't offer.

I find hope
and anticipation
in him.
Secrets are for
today.

No commitment.
No Forever.
No doubt.

The knowledge of
secrets ending and
the fact that this
is just simply
nothing.
Nothing more
then need.
It's what I
hold close.

Is it right?
No.
Do I regret?
Sometimes.
Do I need him?
Yes.

But I could
never
love him.
Not
like I love
you.

I'll never
see the sun
in his smile.
Or.
See the world
in his eyes.

His heart will
never beat for
me.

The one person
willing to care,
to love me,
is the one to be
pushed away.

Isn't that how
it's always
been?

Twisted
Assurance.