Memories are set and stoned in my mind of what we used to be. Sometimes I just can't help but cry alone to myself at night, and sometimes during the day. I thought maybe writing this out and sending it to you would be more convenient for you and maybe me. So here I am, writing to you. My words have always made sense, but as I get farther along in this letter, it's not making sense to me.
I remember when I was a girl; I always told my dad he was going to be the only man in my life. The older I got the more he became distant, resulting into a disappearance that just shattered my heart. I think I have an attachment problem. When he left, I was desperate to have a man in my life. I just wanted the secure blanket over me again. I think maybe, I just settled for anyone.
We've known each other for a long time. And without knowing each other my life would be a living hell. Reason why I'm saying that is because, if I never knew you, I wouldn't know the things I know now. I wouldn't have learned the lessons that I learned. I'm thankful for knowing you. I'm thankful for even loving you. But, I remain confused and a piece remains missing. I haven't quite figured out what it is. But I will.
We [notice I'm not saying "I"] both had our share fair of screw ups and mistakes. We both did some things that we shouldn't have done, but we did because we are only human. I think I made the ultimate mistake because I feel like I pushed you away from me. I still haven't forgiven myself for what I did. There aren't any excuses for me, not this time.
Honestly thinking- I think it happened for the best. I was raised knowing that everything happens for a reason, and most times you don't even know the reason. It's not for me or you to figure it out either. I think that I should stop waiting for something that is never going to happen, and I should just walk ahead with my head straight. I won't promise that I won't look back, because I might.
Letting go seems like something that is almost impossible to do. But, I think of the impossible as "I'm possible". Meaning, I can do what ever I set my mind to do. I just think it's time we find other fish in the sea that are more like our individual beings. I know you can find any girl that you want too, you're good looking and your personality is just phenomenal.
I on the other hand probably have a lot more growing up then I thought I did. It's okay though, because I'm prepared to do anything I need to do to get ahead and keep moving forward. School is something that I have my mind set on, I love it. Maybe a job to get myself out of debt with friends and family would be a wise choice as well.
Memories is what holds people together. I'll never forget you. Don't ever forget me. You never know, if it was meant to be or not, and if it is meant to be then I'll see you later. If not, then it was my pleasure knowing you the years that I have. I hope you find something to enjoy in life and don't give it up. I hope that you accomplish your dreams and make billions of dollars. You deserve everything good coming your way.
