Refuge (Lies I had to tell) (Lyrics)

This is really powerful .. Having been cheated on , it really hit home . I understand what you mean when you talk about helping my poems with emotion .. Because your wording litterally makes my stomach twist and provoques alot of emotion . The half rhymes are barely even noticeable because they flow so nice .. These lyrics sound like something that would be sung by The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus .. I dunno , it reminds me of Face Down by them . Really well done , 5/5 .

Sorry my comment is comming a little late. I've had a lot of things come up but now I finally have some time on my hands. :]

First of all I loved the title! It captured my attention and made me eager to read on to the poem.

"Forgive me, he'll beg with his face
'Til my pause runs out and I'll answer yes"
^I loved how unique this was. It was a different spin on saying you're losing the will to say no and yes is easier to say. I liked the pause button affect because it was effective in revealing that it was temporary and the play would soon follow showing that your no isnt permanant. I dont know thats what I got from it haha.

"Phones will ring and it'll begin again"
^I loved how "begin again" sounded when I read it out loud. Very musical which works since these are lyrics.

"Left behind on threads to thin to dwell"
^I think it should be "too thin to dwell" or maybe you did mean "to" ...

"Blocking his touch from inside my mind."
^I love this line. It held so much meaning and said so much without using any complex vocabulary. I could feel the pain seeping through the words.

I really did enjoy these lyrics because they were packed with emotion and I could tell came straight from the heart. I read it with my own melody in my mind which made it that much more of a joy to read.

Well done!
*5/5*

Bliss. [Beyond a Poet's Mind.]

So so beautiful!!

I think you did an excellent job on this song. Songs don't have to rhyme and are often laiden with words or phrases deemed cliche, people do it all the time and frankly, I think it makes the rhythm of the piece more catchy and something many people can relate to, especially the many if not all of us who have experienced heartbreak at one time or another. This would sound great as a pop song/ Kelly Clarkson type....nice job!

Its a pleasure to read your work as you simply surprises me everytime. I really find your work very unique, excellent choice of words and the way your express...its outstanding.
Great write

all the best and take care