Not what I wanted

I want to cry,
My life has spun around,
My dropping tears,
Are the only sound.

Killing me in my dreams awake,
My life is at stake.

To crawl in a corner,
And shut myself out,
Lately my life,
Has been filled with doubt.

Ignoring my thoughts,
And regretting my past,
I hide under the covers,
How much longer will this hurt last?

Swimming in fears,
Forever forgotten,
I hate myself,
This is not what I wanted.