He Was

Hey such a lovely sad and heartfelt poem beautiful opening

He was my world
Sweet and kind
You saved me time and time again
Now that you're gone I've become blind.

(Good opening, makes me want to know what happens next.)

You brought color to my eyes
Cleared my lungs of the dust
When I was with you everything was ok
Now my lungs are filled with dirt...oh there goes a dirty gust.
(beautiful imagery, simply the best part of the poem)
Now that you've left
There is no color
I can't find anything but grey
And I can't stand any taller.
(I know what you mean about finding just gray)
He was my world
Standing for love
Holding me up
My cold hand covered by your glove.
(i like how you repeat he is my world, lets me know he is important to you)
He was my world....
Now he's just a memory of sweet pain
One I will never forget
The memory I shall forever contain.

very nice work hun. keep it up. Shanik