Dancing Dreams.

Loved the title Temps! Really captured my attention and made me curious to read the piece.

First off looking at it I loved the three lined stanzas. People usually go for 4 lines stanzas but in my mind thats getting played out and the fact youre stepping out of the box, taking chances, and trying new things with you word is really impressive.

"Dreams dance across resting mind,"
^Loved the alliteration in "dreams" and "dance" It tied in the title right at the beginning and lured me in.

"Unable to interpret this reoccurence"
^Loved your choice of words in "interpret" and "reoccurence" You didnt settle with words used all the time and brought it up a knotch. Made the piece very sophisticated.

"of such illusions that bloom with color"
^I loved your choice of words in here with "illusions" and "bloom" I think color was a bit too simple for this stanza.

"everything becomes a blur before"
^"becomes" "blur" "before" Yay more alliteration! It makes the piece sound so much more poetic and makes it stand out!

"repetitiveness or a refreshing smile,
a better undertanding, or perhaps less?"
^More alliteration! I'm guessing you did it on purpose and if you didnt, it came out wonderfully on accident. I adored your use of the word "perhaps" and how you ended the poem in a question left me as the reader wondering along with you and curious to see how the piece would end. Sometimes before we dream we wonder if we will see something recurring or will it be something new and you described that nicely here.

"What if it's screaming, trying to capture my
attention, am I just oblivious to its meaning?"
^Loved how you ended it with a question because it leaves the reader wondering about your poem long after they finish reading it. Loved your use of the word "Screaming" It was very effective in describing how maybe the dream is trying to get something very important across to you. Very well written ending.

I really enjoyed this poem Temps. You are truly growing as a poet in front of my eyes while taking risks with your writing. I loved the meaning behind this poem because we all wonder what our dreams are trying to tell us but sometimes its better to just leave it as a mystery. I find it better not to analyze it especially if it was a good dream because then I lose the feeling of amazing it left me with.

Well done!
I really enjoyed this piece.
*5/5* :]

Your title really directed me to read this poem....Dancing Dreams :) I loved it.

Dreams dance across resting mind,
leaving bits of confusion in which
twist and twirl with other thoughts.

The imagery in this stanza is really good. I wonder so many times ..how many dreams we have that we don't remember at all.

everything becomes a blur before
rapidly changing to white; nothing...
feelings impossible to sort out.

I like the way the color white is representing nothing....like trying to read a blank piece of paper.

Makes one wonder what tonight will bring...
repetitiveness or a refreshing smile,
a better undertanding, or perhaps less?

The nice things about dreams is we can be and do anything we wish. Go back to happier times of life. Except those times when nightmares chase us through the night.

What if there's a message behind this?
What if it's screaming, trying to capture my
attention, am I just oblivious to its meaning?

A question that will probably never be answered. Yet one you will continue to ask yourself.
Great job!
Take Care
Cindy

This is different from you and is very well done. Had never thought of dreams dancing through the mind until I read this. I think we all wonder what our dreams mean and this last verse says it all.

What if there's a message behind this?
What if it's screaming, trying to capture my
attention, am I just oblivious to its meaning?

Well done. 5/5

Tempsy:)

I have never seen you use such a tone before...it's different and you sound so mature all of a sudden:)
I have a lot of friends your age on this site and I so love to see them evolve and growing in all sorts of ways and even have been a witness to some falling in love and marrying!
You have written a very thought provoking piece:

What if there's a message behind this?
What if it's screaming, trying to capture my
attention, am I just oblivious to its meaning?

^^^

I love this ending. It's really haunting!

Good job, girl:)

*hugs*

5/5 Ingrid