Love? pfh. you didn't love me.
don't even try to tell me you do,
or did.
all of that, it was for nothing.
you didn't care for me one bit.
you just wanted what you could have.
you were selfish.
i gave away my first kiss to someone like you.
and you know what, after all this,
i still don't regret it.
because i can say i gave it to someone i loved.
i just wish i could say i gave it to someone
who loved me too.
all those movie nights with our friends.
you cuddled up with me.
they meant nothing to you.
it was all just fun and games.
to me, it was real. something i hadn't felt in
forever.
in fact, something i'd never ever felt.
you just wanted the satisfaction you'd get
when you'd say you had a girlfriend.
you just wanted me because of the name.
the look in your eyes when i saw you
the smile on your face
the sweet simple kisses when i was down
all the butterflies
the warm hugs
the heartwarming comments
every single second together
meant absolutely nothing to you.
i loved you with everything inside of me.
and i still do.
which makes seeing you every single day
even harder.
you won't even bother to say hi,
even when i said it first.
after all i did for you.
i tried to make you feel loved
i convinced you you were worth something
after your dad tried to tell you you weren't.
i was honest with you.
anything you ever told me was safe with me.
and it still is.
but after all you've put me through now,
i sure as hell wish i could blurt it all out.
this wasn't our decision.
if it weren't for this situation,
we'd still be together.
but maybe its best this did happen.
maybe its all for the better
but to think that,
kills me inside.
i've never loved someone like i love you.
ever.
we went from everything
to nothing.
all in the blink of an eye.
and you don't give a care in the world.
because i was nothing to you.
you're over it, moved on.
you act like i'm a speck on the ground.
you have no idea how many tears i cry
each and everynight.
i miss you so much, and yet
you still don't care.
i miss your hugs.
i miss how perfect our hands fit.
i miss the gentle kisses you give.
i miss cuddling watching our favorite movies.
i miss that look in your eyes.
i miss your cute smile.
i miss your comments that made me feel beautiful.
i miss feeling worth something.
i miss being loved.
and even after saying all this,
you still don't care at all.
at first, you seemed to care.
you seemed broken, and hurt.
and i wanted to do what i could to help you.
i wanted to be back in your arms.
but then you were done. over it.
and now you can't even say hi to me
when i pass you walking out the door.
you tried to make me feel horrible,
and congratulations, it worked.
i know you better than you think i do.
and after all the things i know about you,
i still love you from the bottom of my heart,
and thats where you'll always be.
