"The mountain of truth,
Shadowed by the mountain of lies,
Hear the sorrow,
The screams and the painful cries,"

Good opening, really grabs the reader into this piece, nice job.

"Those of the haunted,
And those of the dead,
Are no competition,
To those we all dread,"

Nice wording, very entrancing to the soul.

"Those that murder,
And those that kill,
Those that with every death,
Get that exciting thrill,"

The descriptions that you portray are amazing and set the reader right into the scene.

"Once those criminals have had that taste,
Thers no keeping track,
They come back for more,
And then theres no turning back."

Second line: "Thers" should be "There's".

Third line: That's so true, you give off a sense of fear to the reader, really wonderful job.

Fourth line: "theres" should be "there's".

5/5 from me though, a very though-provoking write. Keep up the excellent work, take care...

God Bless You Forever And Ever

~MaryAnne

Amazing. deep, brilliant wording, beautifully written. dark and brilliant.
--lovedroughtmelody

Simply amazing.
5/5

Great job!