Apology for the Sinful

The phone rang, and my life became a fairy tale.
His voice, absent for so long, sent chills through me.

"Do you want to go with me?" he asked
"Well of course, it gets me outta the house."

That smile as i opened the truck door an hour later.
The silence as we drove away from my nightmare.

The sun high in the sky, his forehead against mine.
Both of us smiling, enjoying the long lost company.

Then.

His hand in the back of my hair, teeth gently grazing the skin of my neck.
"Nno. ...No. No." I mutter, gently pushing him away

Minutes later, his hands, rough and hot under my shirt, squeezing my hips gently, pulling me closer.

Weak i am. I knew it would cause pain, i knew it was wrong. But i didn't care.

He pulled closer, watching my face as i stared at his lips.
"No. no." I muttered again.

He ran his fingers through the back of my hair, looking into me.
The most beautiful eyes i have ever seen stared into me.

He kissed me, gently, softly, searching.

Weak i am. Wrong it was, but that feeling in the pit of me, it demanded to be fed.

A flash, his name in my mind, just at the edge. Gone in a split second. Gone his name, gone the guilt.

His lips parted mine slowly, searching tentatively.

I broke.

My fingers ran up his arms, found his neck, wrapping them there, i broke.

His lips just touching mine, eyes closed, he whispered into me,"Your lips are so soft, but demanding. I like that"

A small chuckle escaped me.

Its hours til the sun sets. Hours til the sin.
Hours til the true betrayal.

We drove.

and in the end, the sin, was so wondrous.
Heaven it was the sweetest sin.

This sin, so wondrous, meant not love.
I'm sorry, I'm here now, I forgive you, I missed you.

That is what my sin meant.

Love it didn't mean. It was the gentle exploration.

His body, so beautiful, close to mine, pulling me in.
How he wrapped his arms around me as i stood on my knees over him, his face pressed against me.

Heavens what a wondrous apology.
What a wonderful distraction.

Guilt, i felt none.
Sorrow none.
Condemned i think not.

Joy completely.

Day after day.
Night after night.

Kiss after kiss.
Touch after touch.

What an apology for the sinful.