Tongue Tied and Terrified.

I guess this is what people must mean by a twist in the story.
She gets to abide where I have always craved to be.
I don't know what you will be thinking while you read this,
but let me make this clear: I am not here to beg or plea.

(I'm not writing this to try and snatch him back Meghan.
I'm striving to make it to the day he'll be just an old boyfriend on the list.
He obviously choose you over me for a reason.
After three years, I'm beginning to wonder if that day even exists.)

I understand that she said you no longer wanted contact with me,
but I would like to know if you sincerely, from your heart, agree.
She has taken control of your heart and I'm no longer in the picture.
I can't just tell my feelings to disappear and expect them to flee!

I am sorry for any anguish or distress that I may have conveyed.
My intent was far from abducting your stunning smile or inflicting pain.
I apologize if this makes her upset with you in any which way,
but I'm certain if I don't write this, I'll always feel some sort of strain.

Please, set aside a little time to do what I do all too often.
Put the veil of eyelids over your intricately exquisite eyes.
Let yourself be captured in the past for a couple of memories.
Re-live what lingers in my heart and see what emotions decide to arise.

Too frequently my heart trails off to reminisce about you.
Sometimes, about how you never payed attention on the phone.
You were always preoccupied with a show on the T.V.
I didn't mind much, I just liked knowing you were there: I wasn't alone.

Other days, it's about your adorable soft and subtle giggle.
You know! That one when we talked about those imaginary dates.
Your giggle still returns to echo in the back of my mind.
It gets brutally vicious being taunted and toyed with by fate.

Allow our memories to vividly stumble through your mind.
Come on, let me take you back to when we first locked eyes.
We were supposed to have our heads bowed and eyes closed.
Right from the start we didn't follow the rules: what a surprise.

Waking up and reading heartfelt emotions in a text sent by you.
You never got to witness, but my cheeks would turn a shade of pink.
I was walking on butterflies and my tummy was filled with clouds.
I would get so wrapped up in your words; I forgot how to think.

Forbidden phone calls with enticing conversation entwined.
A hint of lust merges with a mere suggestion of passionate seduction.
Intimate giggles caress the intense but oh so decipherable silence.
More gripping than any scene conjured up for a staged production.

That memory did not do the trick? I'll attempt again.
How about the first time your lips had caressed mine?
Struggling to say goodbye while the sun sets in the background.
The moment our lips meet, butterflies and sparks decided to combine.

Sometimes, my will power subsides and I slip back into
the moments you genuinely whispered "always and forever baby."
My heart beats a thousand times at once it seems, I wonder:
Do you ever get lost in these memories? Come on, just maybe?

I know you're probably thinking "Cant you just get over it?"
Ive attempted many times to collect all my lingering feelings for
you and lock them away deep inside a small little box to decay.
I relax by closing my eyes but you chase all my thoughts away.

My heart races every time I get captured in the past with you.
I can tell my heart each time it isn't love, you're just some guy.
There's nothing there and what I feel, is in my head, it isn't real.
I cant deny, cant even try, because I know that butterflies don't lie.

Tears seem to form behind my eyes, but I do not cry.
Remember, there is a little curiosity lurking behind every "I don't care."
I hope that she makes you happier than you ever wanted to be.
I hope that after fifty years together, that passionate spark is still there.

I am certain that one day I will find my own Prince Charming.
There is only one problem: I already know who I want to have that role.
Usually, I am not the type of person who is to picky or selective.
You have an enormous pull on my heart that I just can't seem to control.

You will hold onto her hand while I get to embrace his.
I guess my feelings towards you will always be pending.
From our memories, my heart recalls all too many details.
My childish heart is still irrationally pulling for our fairy tale ending.

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