Midnight

"Darkness breathes once again,
its lungs filled with drunken men,
screaming babies, dirty deeds,
desperate women with sexual needs."

-I really like this stanza. The rhymes are amazing and the imagery is even better.

"Light succumbs to the eclipse
for a few hours, it won't be missed.
Lullaby slumber, city falls into silence.
Welcome to those who live for the violence."

-Not as powerful as your first stanza. Still nice, though. I especially liked the third line down.

"Without a sound, heaven turns a blind eye
to the sins happening beneath the black sky.
Evil roams the streets like mist:
Seeping, searching, crossing names off the list."

-The first two lines in this stanza are amazing. Actually, I like all of it except for the very last one. Not saying that I hate it, I just think it could have been worded better.

"Dawn drowsily arrives, too soon,
night absconds, holding hands with the moon.
Goodness awakens into the light,
blissfully unaware of the events of midnight."

-I don't think your ending was very powerful. In fact, I think the powerful stanza in this poem is the very first one.

Good job.

"Darkness breathes once again,
its lungs filled with drunken men,
screaming babies, dirty deeds,
desperate women with sexual needs."

-This first stanza gave me the shivers honestly. They way you describe darkness, and how you make it rhyme and go together all at the same time, takes my breath away.

"Light succumbs to the eclipse
for a few hours, it won't be missed.
Lullaby slumber, city falls into silence.
Welcome to those who live for the violence."

-Wow, I mean seriously wow, I'm still having shivers, I can tell how dark this poem really is, and I think that if I had to choose a poem to represent dark it would be this one,

"Without a sound, heaven turns a blind eye
to the sins happening beneath the black sky.
Evil roams the streets like mist:
Seeping, searching, crossing names off the list."

-Beautiful, beautiful imagery! "Heaven turns a blind eye" I mean that was amazing wording.
"
Dawn drowsily arrives, too soon,
night absconds, holding hands with the moon.
Goodness awakens into the light,
blissfully unaware of the events of midnight."

-I absolutely love how you end your poem woth the title of it. It has a marvelous effect.

*I really don't understand why more people have not commented this poem, this is a work of art, and one that will go on my favorites. The thing I like most about this poem is the chills it gave me throughout the whole thing, and how it held my attention.

5/5

"Lullaby slumber, city falls into silence.
Welcome to those who live for the violence."
Maybe, City falling into silence; here?

Em, this is really good.
The flow absolutely rolled, it slid easily along.
Your word choice is a nonchalant sophisticated mix, adding up to create a perfect balance.
It has the creepy, I wonder what's really happening, edge.
You sound like a bystander, an observant unnoticed.
I really liked the first and second stanzas.
The last stanza was a little rough, like a piece of wood with a few splinters.
The lines are different lengths and it sort of rubs the flowing pattern. The word choice is a just a little wordy, maybe try to eliminate or reword some things?
Great Job!
:]