Hell's Angels

This is great.. its sad and full of emotions, 5 outta 5 definetly. i seen those few little mistakes but i new wat you meant. very well done!

Keep it up!
*Hunny*

I really liked the poem. Don't be too sad. Keep it up. Austin

"Lights outside my door,
Flashing red and blue.
A police man steps outside his car,
About to deliver the news."

Captivating opening stanza, clear and vivid images pass my mind when I read this, how very sad.

"He stands at my door way,
A somber look in his eye.
He says theirs been an accident,
It's time to say goodbye."

Such heartbreaking words here, the rhyming is flawless as well as the flow.

"This can be happen,
I can't take this.
I love you so much,
You the one I wanted to spend my life with."

First line: Should be changed to "This can't be happening,"

"He's lying,
He has to be.
You just got off work,
Your coming home to me."

Well-expressed emotions and thoughts, that must have been so hard.

"They tell me when the funeral is,
They're really expecting me?
I can't attend,
I can barley breathe."

Second line: To me, it would sound better if you changed it to "They're really expecting me to come?".

"I'm still waiting,
I've waited so long.
My life's messed up,
Why aren't you coming home?"

Really touches my heart, how very horrible this must have been.

"Everyone tells me their sorry for my loss,
Everyones crying so much.
And I can't help but sob,
I'm forgetting your touch."

First line: "their" should be "they're".

Second line: "Everyones" should be "Everyone's".

"Their playing such sad songs,
Everyone's wearing black.
They open the coffin and it's all so real,
As you lay still upon your back."

First line: "Their" should be "They're".

"Your arm's are folded,
Your skins so pale.
You look like an angel,
Who was killed in hell."

What descriptions, this is so vivid.

"I say my "goodbye".
Then walk home in the rain.
The rain collides with my tears,
And I still feel the same."

Excellent imgary and emotions here.

"I hate you,
You don't know how much I do.
Why do I love you,
After all you put me through?"

How sad, to think about this, nicely worded though.

"My day's all run together now,
And I find myself growing frail.
I feel like an angel,
Whose living in hell."

Nice ending, really sums everything that you have been saying up.

Just one thing I noticed: Sometimes you would rhyme, other times you didn't. This kind of threw me off, so I would suggest either having a pattern in rhyming, or just free verse.

4/5 from me, I am greatly sorry for your loss.

God Bless You And Take Care!

Sad, but i really like this poem ,
especially how it ended.

"This can be happen,
I can't take this."

do you mean to say this cant be happening ?
:|

anywho, i gave it a 5/5
really enjoyed it,