I stepped outside my house this morning
i rushed to my car and i opened the door
feeling the cold breeze on my face
i stopped to take in the first of the cold familiar weather
with its ironically heartwarming scent that signifies christmas is upon us
thats when it hit me
christmas is almost here along wit a new year
what would have been an exciting moment wasnt
i felt a hole in the pit of my stomache and an undeniable pressure in my chest
thats when it truely hit me
this will be the first christmas i will spend without my best friend
this will be a new year and you won't be part of it
i stood there with all these thoughts forming
an avalanche of thoughts that overtook me
the cold breeze grazed my face once again
this time painfully
reminding me of memories long past
now lost
at this point it was too late
too late to think of these as fond times
no! these arent fond times
these were our memories
now tarnished by you and her
i cant control the thoughts of you and her attempting to replace them
but then i realize, impossible!
nothin will ever compare to the innocent love we shared
untouched by insecurities or mistrust
i know noone will ever or could ever replace me
you can put the pictures away, rip them up
pretend it was a dream or a nightmare
never say my name
but in the end we both know what we had
and especially we know whats left
nothing but memories
possibly some of the best and worst moments of my life
what hurts the most; the wound that will never heal in my heart is dat of losing my best friend
no one can replace my best friend
let me irritate your wound and remind you!
she will never replace me
she, whoever she is will never touch, kiss, hug you like I did
love you like i did, do
she will never be able to look into your baby blues and see what i saw
those memories are ours, and i will always carry them in my heart
"here is the deepest secret nobody knows
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart
i carry your heart I carry it in my heart"
you will never be fully hers because,
you will always carry my heart
you will carry it in your heart
always and forever
