Hardly Spotless

Dirty floors,
In my soiled little house,
Bleach chemicals,
Brought in to douse,

^^ I don't really like how you began the poem. I'm not really sure I understand it. The flow is good, but the rhymes aren't so good for me.

Tainted mind,
Matted hair,
Trying to wash them out,
Only causing more of a stare,

^^ I really llike this second stanza. The rhyming, again, id kind of off for me. It seems kind of forced. But I understand this stanza better than the first one.

Swollen red eyes,
Grimy bitten fingertips,
Rub against each other,
Pursuit to gouge eyes from the sun's eclipse,

^^ This stanza is excellent. The rhyming is perfect in here. I'm not sure about the flow though.

Worn beaten feet,
Scarred knobby knees,
Upon the bleaching floor,
Eating my skin exposing more disease,

^^ I love this one. The flow is excellent, along with the rhyming. The syllables are a little off, but it works perfectly for the poem.

Thin rosy lips,
Pale wounded skin,
Cleaned and disfigured endlessly,
Attempts to be thrown in a trash bin,

^^ The rhyming seems a little forced. But I really like the idea of this stanza. By that, I mean the sory behind it and the message it sends. (If that makes sense)

The soiled little house,
Now narrowly sanitary,
More than myself can say,
Inhaling perfume bleach can carry,

^^ this one is absolutely amazing. The rhymes are perfect and the flow is excellent. The story in this one is amazing as well.

Barely breathing,
Hardly spotless,
Scarcely human,
Just about in distress,

^^ I love this one. It's an excellent way to end the poem. It really puts an image in your mind

All in all, I think the flow could have been a little better, along with the rhymes. But the imagry in this is very good. And I can feel the emotion. Good job

Soda E>