I love you everytime

My first one, the one i gave up my sanity.
the one dat made me a woman. is hardly not in my heead. i will never forget him. the love we made for the first time was hurting. and the love we still make every time. because he wasnt just mine once. He is still mine once in a while. so how do yu expect me to let him go.
Its a hard thing to explain. buh im fallin out of it. i think it dosent matter as much. buh my heart will never leave him. even tho he dosent mean much after all. and maybe he just a botty call. he was my first and dats all dat matters to me. and dat he still calls me to make love to me. must mean he hasnt find anybody who does him like i do. bcuz he knows i give it all everytime. n eveytime he calls i run like an idiot back to his arms.n i cant help it. bcuz he has what i need.
the way he smells. n yeah i might be in love with him. n he might love me too. buh we will never know. n i cant wait till the day it all fades away so i can finally live my life.bcuz it hurts my heart.