I'm sorry, but this is way to over-dramatic. At times it seems very forced and like mindless dribble. Also, the little tongue-in-cheek comment "the best poem I've written" doesn't come off as interesting or charming, just arrogant. Sorry.

Peace and prosperity,

(RKD)

*First No Need For a Name shouldn't be talking. That was way harsh, this site is for criticism and praise, not just plain mean comments.

"There was a name
I used to remember,
and lips
that have never touched mine."

-This kind of confused me at first, but then I was like wait, maybe it has to do with unreturned love.

"You lay among withered flowers
----------[eyes closed]
with an iris in your hair.
Still and pure, unblemished.
A lily in autumn?
I wanted to press you
between these pages,
capture your heartbeat,
onto a word."

-Amazing imagery right here, I like how you capture the moment, and the structure of this stanza, it's not any I've ever seen. I think you took a risk, and pulled it off, not amazingly, but very good.

"Silence? Perhaps the only way...

I brushed a sheet of paper
----------[blank, unremembered]
against your rose-petaled lips,
and took my hand away.
Fold, crease.
A dream in my pocket,
and I walked away."

-I really really like this stanza here. The verbs you use were amazing, and it's not over dramatic, it's just that the moment became intensified.

"The best poem I've written?
Perhaps the only one...
To this day, it remains
unopened, unread."

-I actually like this and it fits with this poem, and the way you tie it back to your former stanzas is real good.

"Did you ever wake? "
- The ending caught me off guard, and confused me quite a bit.

-This poem overall is an in depth poem, and in my opinion is well written. I think that it could've been written a little bit better, by word choice and maybe explaning a little bit better to the reader, what the moment actually was. I have a vague idea, of what this poem is really about, but still you can feel the emotion pouring from this poem, and in my opinion is very powerful.
4/5

There was a name
I used to remember,
and lips
that have never touched mine.

^ wow not a bad way of openin your poem here. i like it

You lay among withered flowers
----------[eyes closed]
with an iris in your hair.
Still and pure, unblemished.
A lily in autumn?
I wanted to press you
between these pages,
capture your heartbeat,
onto a word.

^i could see fall, leaves fallin off the trees n sumone hairs blowing. very imagnie =) i love the last stanzal here. very touching indeed.

Silence? Perhaps the only way...

^silence.. hmm.. your making me think here whatcha tryin to say. hmm...

I brushed a sheet of paper
----------[blank, unremembered]
against your rose-petaled lips,
and took my hand away.
Fold, crease.
A dream in my pocket,
and I walked away.

^oh wow. oh wow. this was an amzing part of your poem. i just truly love it. i wouldnt have writen it any other way. n i wouldnt change a thing. amazing job here. my very very very favorite part indeed,.

The best poem I've written?
Perhaps the only one...
To this day, it remains
unopened, unread.

^nice touch to my favorite part here.

Did you ever wake?

^I love question to poem. makes me think. you writen a lovely, sad piece here. great job indeed.
5/5 trulie

Take CaRe,
Frenchy

This is a truely amazing poem, i can't find anything wrong with it.
It's beautiful.
The people who say its overdramatic are wrong. They probably just dont understand what you're thinking about. It happens to me too.
I love the way you wrote it, the ---[] thing you did (im sorry, i have no idea if there's a word for it) added a great effect. Leaving lines out in the open with nothing around them gave it even more emotion.
It kind of made me think of Ellen Hopkins :D the way she writes.
You have some real talent here ^-^
Definatly 5/5

I agree with RayLeen's first two lines and I also agree Sapphires comments about 'No Need For A Name', yet this is a free site and everybody is entitled to their own opinion I think though if he classes himself as a lyric writer that he should read lyrics not good poetry.
A very good and gifted piece of poetry which I thoroughly enjoyed. Ray S