After the years we spent together I guess it's a little hard not to change. I've been taking all my medicine, been sleeping in the rain. I know you don't cry as much as you used to but you don't laugh quite the same. I'm left wandering these streets asking the pavement if I love too much. Without your breath in the morning I've been left so out of touch. So I put half my money on the lottery and the other half in the shares. If you knew all I had done, would you be likely to care? My hall is lined with your photos and a distant memory. Now I play with subtitles on the television trying to learn how to see.
Some days I get so sick I can barely leave my bed. The doctor couldn't see anything wrong so I guess it's all in my head. There are these clouds passing by my window and they remind me of your skin and hair; wild, light with your favourite shampoo and always, always fair. I'm sorry I missed your birthday, I was too busy waiting by the phone, hoping maybe you'd be mad enough to dial my number and tell me you felt half as alone.
I have a sequence full of sequence I spread throughout the lawn. In dull light they refract the sun, the moon and the stars, making me feel warm. And a heart doesn't break from a hate-filled blow that makes it want to flee. I know that the cracks and groans in my chest come from feeling so empty. There is an old man down the road who sings to me sometimes, I told him he should be a poet but he just can't seem to rhyme. He painted me a picture of a girl dressed up in a blue gown, her eyes sparkling with her dress but made dull by her frown. She looked beautiful enough to be the one I never meant to leave behind. And he said he saw it in my eyes, the girl I used to keep inside my mind.
I'm burning all your pictures and might just burn down that hall. I'm sick and tired of waiting, thinking maybe you will call. Well in ten years time I hope you remember my number off by heart. And I hope it still aches to think how long we have been apart. I can't listen to the radio because they play all the songs you adored. I can't hold on to something that only used to be there, I cannot love you anymore.
