Comments : Yellow Lab.

  • 15 years ago

    by Ingrid

    Temps:)

    That sounds like a really beautiful dog, you really described your pet very well.
    I loved the part about the tail, it is the most fun part of a dog and indeed gives away his mood:)

    Nice poem!

    *hugs*

    5/5 Ingrid

  • 15 years ago

    by Sylvia

    I can close my eyes and see your dog. These are the images that stay will me, for the next time I see a Yellow Lab, I will think of you and this poem. Well done. 5/5

  • 15 years ago

    by Italian Stallion

    Nice write Temps, I like the descriptions. The flow was good as well as the structure. You described a dog, yet not fully stating what it was, which I enjoy in poetry - it makes the reader ponder on what you are describing. Well written, keep up the great work!

    Peace, Joe

  • 15 years ago

    by CanUKissAwayMyPain

    Innocent eyes, a rusty brown,
    surrounded by a thick layer
    of black, like eyeliner.
    Eyelashes painted gold.

    ^awww.. beauitful way of desrcibe your pet or animal here. at first i thought it was a small hamster. cuz rusty brown and sum are golden color.

    Ears fluffy with fur,
    soft to the touch.
    Dark orange, eventually
    morphing to golden.

    ^wow very imagine has i keep readin on the puzzle get together. nice i like it =]

    Snout a unique red,
    neatly shaped,
    traced around with
    a thin line of black.

    ^hmmm... the flow is nice. ur words are very great decriptions of ur pet here.

    Loose hairs stand
    on a long back,
    prancing around,
    tail pointed upward,
    showing happiness.

    ^awww... very cute. i could actuallie see ur dog wagging his tell and showing you he is happie. nicely way of ending your poem with a smile =]

    TaKe CaRe,
    Frenchy

  • 15 years ago

    by Jessica

    Aw, and what a great vivid description! it seems like such a simple poem yet, there is affection behind your words. it takes a good poet to be able to convey that.

  • 15 years ago

    by ASPHYXIATED

    Your use of "innocent eyes" and the title being "Yellow Lab." influenced my first thought to be animal testing, taking place in a lab. But as I read on I saw the difference. You described your pet with such awe at how something could be so perfect.

    I loved your word choice most of all.
    Everything fitted, everything flowed.
    `Eyelashes painted gold.
    You used such great images, along side such great description. Really made each line something special.

    `Ears fluffy with fur,
    soft to the touch.
    I loved these two lines.
    The alliteration makes the flow perfect, but also the phrase fits in so well and makes the tone conversational. I loved it.

    Theres nothing I can really disagree with, everything was done to perfection. Its a different topic for a poem, and you really made it your own. From reading these words that you chose with such close inspection the reader could tell you love you Yellow Lab. You chose the perfect words.

    Good job. (:

  • 15 years ago

    by Lonely Rider

    The description sounds so cute ... I love Dog'd eyes... their eyes indeed look as if eyeliner is there... nice observation...

    beautifully penned...

  • 15 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    Wow, I was so happy to read that this was about a dog! I adore dogs and yellow labs are one of my favorites. You perfectly describe everything about this dog, creating a wonderful picture in my mind. Dogs are such loyal creatues and they are truly angels in my eyes. This was a unique topic to write about, you did a fabulous job Temps! 5/5 from me, keep writing, always and forever.

    ~MaryAnne