Amorous Glances (Pantoum)

by Italian Stallion   Apr 6, 2009


Amorous glances pierce subdued darkness,
lustful ponderings escape towards morn.
Insightful questions - answerless?
Vivid flowerings praise the adorn.

Lustful ponderings escape towards morn,
reliant - palpating eternal love.
Vivid flowerings praise the adorn,
providing tenderhearted songs thereof.

Reliant - palpating eternal love
inducing romance amidst imagery
providing tenderhearted songs thereof,
hard-coated the indestructible artillery.

Inducing romance amidst imagery,
insightful questions - answerless?
Hard-coated the indestructible artillery,
amorous glances pierce subdued darkness.

© Copyright 2009 By: Italian Stallion

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The pantoum consists of a series of quatrains rhyming ABAB in which the second and fourth lines of a quatrain recur as the first and third lines in the succeeding quatrain; each quatrain introduces a new second rhyme as BCBC, CDCD. The first line of the series recurs as the last line of the closing quatrain, and third line of the poem recurs as the second line of the closing quatrain, rhyming ZAZA.

The design is simple:

Line 1
Line 2
Line 3
Line 4

Line 5 (repeat of line 2)
Line 6
Line 7 (repeat of line 4)
Line 8

Continue with as many stanzas as you wish, but the ending stanza then repeats the second and fourth lines of the previous stanza (as its first and third lines), and also repeats the third line of the first stanza, as its second line, and the first line of the first stanza as its fourth. So the first line of the poem is also the last.

Last stanza:

Line 2 of previous stanza
Line 3 of first stanza
Line 4 of previous stanza
Line 1 of first stanza
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Latest Comments

  • 15 years ago

    by The Prince

    It's almost as if you swallowed a dictionary, and reformed the words. Well that's on first glance. I understand it's a difficult form, and if you want my personal opinion, I don't particularly enjoy writing to anything that restricts what I have to say. It's a challenge, and I like to challenge myself but I find it really difficult.
    I'm not gonna pull apart or dissect this piece because it wouldn't acheive anything except confusion; what I am going to say is that when you write poetry like this, you limit the reader's response - all a reader can get from this is: 'ah this guy knows English and can write a pretty neat looking poem', it however, leaves no space for the reader to get inside and between the lines.
    I do applaud you though, as a writer for trying something new out, just take advantage of forms with repetition to find a line that really hits home with a reader, or you, so it becomes more powerful. If you're just repeating lines that are strings of beautiful looking lexis then you're just going to confuse and confound the reader.

  • 15 years ago

    by Courageous Dreamer

    Joe this was really well written, definatly not a easy form at all.. but I think you pulled this off very nicely. Very beautiful and amazingly written. Your words were quite impressive..

    Well done

    5/5.

  • 15 years ago

    by Paiger

    Very insightful, I like the challenging writing scheme yet you made it work :) It really gets you thinking, its one you have to read slowly to appreciate, contemplating every line, yet connecting it with the last and the next. excellent :)

    5/5

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