Very insightful, I like the challenging writing scheme yet you made it work :) It really gets you thinking, its one you have to read slowly to appreciate, contemplating every line, yet connecting it with the last and the next. excellent :)

5/5

Joe this was really well written, definatly not a easy form at all.. but I think you pulled this off very nicely. Very beautiful and amazingly written. Your words were quite impressive..

Well done

5/5.

It's almost as if you swallowed a dictionary, and reformed the words. Well that's on first glance. I understand it's a difficult form, and if you want my personal opinion, I don't particularly enjoy writing to anything that restricts what I have to say. It's a challenge, and I like to challenge myself but I find it really difficult.
I'm not gonna pull apart or dissect this piece because it wouldn't acheive anything except confusion; what I am going to say is that when you write poetry like this, you limit the reader's response - all a reader can get from this is: 'ah this guy knows English and can write a pretty neat looking poem', it however, leaves no space for the reader to get inside and between the lines.
I do applaud you though, as a writer for trying something new out, just take advantage of forms with repetition to find a line that really hits home with a reader, or you, so it becomes more powerful. If you're just repeating lines that are strings of beautiful looking lexis then you're just going to confuse and confound the reader.