Foretaste

Lovely imagery there... beautifully penned and the metaphors are brilliant...

very deep intense write...

I am not sure if I like collaborate in the the 1st stanza, i think you could strengthen this line a bit

but my ink does not collaborate well

Other than that I thought it was a great piece of work.

I wait, like a genie
sealed inside a whiskey bottle
of poem,

I like how you open with the Genie, but give it a bit of a twist with the followup and use of the whiskey bottle.

I love the whole second stanza and the way you ended it, you have penned a wonderful poem here, nice work.

"I wait, like a genie
sealed inside a whiskey bottle
of poem,"
`This was a very unique start and made me immediatly want to continue with your poem! I loved your simile here, how interesting.

"I'm attempting to scribe epistles
on stars,
but my ink does not collaborate well
with flighty notions"
`Word choice is flawless.. what a creative write this is becoming. I must say I really liked 'flighty notions" :]

"how it swallows the ripples
of nature
with noisy lines
that crash against the bosom
of strangers
who incidentally
wish upon my hearth
for some treasure
unrelated to love"
`Also I would like to compliment you on your form, it was also creative and unique and set your poem apart from others in a good way. Not much to say about this poem, I thought you did extremely well with putting your own style and touch to it and made it your own poem.

Very nicely written.
well done,
5/5.

Temps [Beyond a Poets Mind]

You have such an original voice, Melissa. The language you use invites us in and allows us real access to the writer. Brava

Your writing is refreshing to read and I loved how you opened up this poem with the simile.

'I wait, like a genie
sealed inside a whiskey bottle
of poem'

I like the suggestion that 'poem' is a form, entrapped, almost liquid state, able to mold to form around or in the shape of anything? Is that what you were saying or did I completely read it wrong? Haha.

'I'm attempting to scribe epistles
on stars,
but my ink does not collaborate well
with flighty notions'

The language you used here was really crisp and tasteful; it's like you have complex meanings and ideas but they're not buried so deep within the poem that they are lost. You've got a talent for communication and allowing the reader in to what you are saying. I could suggest some deeper use of punctuation in this piece though as it reads rather fleeted, just to break up the lines a bit?

Loved the strength behind the ending and how you seem to write about writing a lot, a lot of us don't do that enough. You're very inspiring. :)