Shadows of Towering Trees

What a great piece you have penned.

Sunshine beams downward,
casting shadows of towering trees
(nearly exact replicas of each other)

Really nice imagery allpwing the reader to see these trees in the sunshine.

Lovely grasses painted in patches
of various tints of brown and green,
close their eyes, hiding behind shade.

I feel as if I'm watching this scene of spring. The beauty it brings to the eartrh.

American flag sways with the breeze,
trees shiver as they are touched
by nature's chilly spring breath.

I see here tender new leaves just coming to life. Not use to the cold. Early spring not yet warmed enough by the spring sun.

Great Job!
(((hugs)))
Cindy

I think this a very uniquie piece here. the imaginie was great. i could see the tree on a plain grass with the flag on the side. more like a paintin realie. i liked it tho. very nice job.

TaKe CaRe,
Frenchy

You are growing as a writer and this is very well done. You have brought the trees to life and these lines stand out. I had never thought of trees shivering as the cool spring air blows but now I will. 5/5

trees shiver as they are touched
by nature's chilly spring breath.

First off, I like the language you were using here. You've stepped up a bit.

'Sunshine beams downward,
casting shadows of towering trees
(nearly exact replicas of each other)'

I think the parenthesis is used to effect here as the tone sort of changes with it. The echo of the title was nice in the second line. Only problem with nature poems is that that's all they are, there's nothing much..more that lies there. Unless you try and use metaphor like Wordsworth did - comparing the ideas of tranquil forestation to the 'man killing man' ideology.

'Lovely grasses painted in patches
of various tints of brown and green,
close their eyes, hiding behind shade'

This was really nice until 'close their eyes', that's really strange because I cannot imagine grass doing that. Since you're aptly painting a picture with this poem, I suggest a phrase that's easier to imagine. I can imagine them cowering in the wind but as far as imagery goes, it's a bit blank, and confusing.

'American flag sways with the breeze,
trees shiver as they are touched
by nature's chilly spring breath.'

You could have done something better with the American flag, not just have it there, but make it of importance to the poem, the last two lines are somewhat disposable and could be replaced with something relating to the idea of the flag and comparing it with humanity or something to that effect. Just a suggestion of course. I think 'chilly' is the wrong word to use.

Like what you're attempting here and you are evolving - lay off the 'sad' poems, and work on your subjective viewpoint.

This painted a picture of a clear blue sky and a beautiful Spring day in my head..the only line I didn't like was the third..it somehow didn't fit in..but that could be just me:)

Lovely piece, Tempsy:)

*hugs*

5/5 Ingrid