Exploding Over Here

This could be a great song... I'd have to hear it. But as far as the story or point goes I Didn't see it. the first stanza led me to believe that you were upset at someone other than yourself. Someone maybe very important to you. Then the rest of this write continues on and this person is missing in action. Its all about you after that with no explanation as to why your exploding except that you yourself don't know why.... perhaps maybe it was this person that was the reason you are exploding. But to be honest, I have know idea why you are. I think you should rewrite the first stanza and change all the you and your statements to I and I'm. then it the whole thing would make more sense.

I really like the opening, but I was a little disappointed at the end. I expected a little more. The flow was still missing something. But the wording is quite good, which gives the song more emotion to it. I don't really like the story of this one, and it seems a little pointless to me. It doesn't really click in for me. I also don't really like how your stanzas fit together. But maybe they're supposed to be like that.

Soda E>

Yey! Im ur first comment in this poem. i feel so special lmao. XD XD

Breaking down from time to time
Like a schizophrenic
Small glass room, big doe eyes
You're some kind of reject
You abuse all your given strength
Like a drug addict
You abuse all of my generous thanks
Like a schizophrenic

^Wow An Amazing Way TO Open Ur Poem Here Indeed. We All have Our Breakdwn it makes us human. nice flow as well.

Is something wrong with me
Is anybody listening
Is anybody there who
Can explain to me why I'm
Exploding over here
I've done nothing wrong
Yet still my walls must fall
Is there any reason why
I'm still over here
Exploding over here

^Flow was amazing to me. your words were simple i like that but yet they have a great meaning in them. i love the part that say " I've done nothing wrong
Yet still my walls must fall"
i can understand n relate to thie part. and i guess many people do. for no reason they get hurt. for no reason they are the one in pain.

Breaking down from time to time
No room for tomorrow
Suffocate, drown in lies
Then fake the sorrow
I'm so weak, I'm so strong
I scream for justice
Then just play along
Like some kind of reject

^now it's sounding more like a song to me. nice.. i like it

Is something wrong with me
Is anybody listening
Is anybody there who
Can explain to me why I'm
Exploding over here
I've done nothing wrong
Yet still my walls must fall
Is there any reason why
I'm still over here
Exploding over here

^i wouldnt change a thing here. it perfect how it is. =]

I'm so weak, I'm so strong
So strong
I'm so meek, I'm so wrong
So wrong
Can't look at myself straight
Mirror image
Schizophrenic complicates
Limits

^isnt post to be meek weak? or not. idk.

Is something wrong with me
Is anybody listening
Is anybody there who
Can explain to me why I'm
Exploding over here
I've done nothing wrong
Yet still my walls must fall
Is there any reason why
I'm still over here
Exploding over here

^yup u trulie did an amazing job here. please do keep it up! =]
5/5 trulie

TaKe caRe,
Frenchy