Every time I think about you, my heart begins to break.
The hurt you placed upon my life, put everything at stake.
For the first time, I began to feel hopeful; hopeful for you.
But then you turned around, and all my fears came true.

*^* Just To Begin I Have To Tell You. i Could Tell Alreadie U Have A Way With Words, That U Can Pour Ur Corazon n Soul On To Paper FOr Other To Read. the last stanzal in this part here was the most powerful for me.

Every time you're near me, my heart begins to race.
And lust begins to surface, for your perpetual embrace.
To feel the warmth of your lips, of an inescapable kiss.
Allowing me to fall deeply, into an everlasting abyss.

^Lovely and so sad yet. Cuz I can relate wen they are there right nxt to you. you're all happie and smiling and wen they are flet all the hurt and pain comes back. it's like a drug. it gives you peace in mind for a moment and went it leaves everything u wanted to leave behind came right in fornt of you... i wouldnt change a thing here.

Every time I feel you, I suppress the tears from falling.
I repress the pain inside, and resist the urge of calling.
I can feel my grip on reality, slowly fading to the past.
And who knows how much longer my sanity will last.

^simple words but yet very powerful and meanful. flow is just perfect here.

Every time I see you, memories flash before my eyes.
I hide the hurt it causes, with my so-beautiful disguise.
It literally feels as though, you broke my heart in two.
And now I can't let go, because I fell so hard for you.

^heartbreak one of the worst feelin in the word. just to say time will heal ur wounds no matter what. like one of my friends says a heart heals n it trulie does in time.
I loved your poem. you did a wonderful job. please do keep it up! =]
5/5

TaKe CaRe,
Frenchy

Every time I think about you, my heart begins to break.
The hurt you placed upon my life, put everything at stake.
For the first time, I began to feel hopeful; hopeful for you.
But then you turned around, and all my fears came true.

- You start your poem in an amazing way! Already after I had read the first 2 lines i was stuck on reading it. And I can also feel what you are going through.

Every time you're near me, my heart begins to race.
And lust begins to surface, for your perpetual embrace.
To feel the warmth of your lips, of an inescapable kiss.
Allowing me to fall deeply, into an everlasting abyss.

- This is a lust that i defenitely recognize! But i don't feel that this part of the poem was as powerful as the first one.

Every time I feel you, I suppress the tears from falling.
I repress the pain inside, and resist the urge of calling.
I can feel my grip on reality, slowly fading to the past.
And who knows how much longer my sanity will last.

-AMAZINGLY written! These words went straight to my heart and i can defenitely relate!

Every time I see you, memories flash before my eyes.
I hide the hurt it causes, with my so-beautiful disguise.
It literally feels as though, you broke my heart in two.
And now I can't let go, because I fell so hard for you.

- And you have aslo written a perfect ending to this poem! Once again I could feel everything that you are going through.

This is defenitely a 5/5! I love this poem, you really have your wy with words and you have a good flow in the poem! You have talent so keep on writing ;)

Wow. this is amazing. The flow is absolutey amazing. The rhyming is awesome. I love the whole story you're trying to get across. I love the wording you used. Everything just works so well. the emotion is awesome. There's really no negative things I can say about it. It's an excellent poem, except it's kind o re-written. Like I've heard it so many times already. But it's still excellent

Soda E>

"I can feel my grip on reality, slowly fading to the past.
And who knows how much longer my sanity will last."

My favorite line ^^
I thought this was a powerful poem, very unique as well.
The title is good, word choices are perfect.
My only bad thought is with the 1st stanza, 3rd line. It's so long it seems forced, compared to the rest of the poem. Maybe you could take out one of the 'hopeful's?
Other than that it was awesome.
5/5 <3<3

Wow this poem is amazing it has such an amazing flow and the word choice is amazing i love it 5/5

Great job you used a beautiful chioce of wording to depict your emotions throughout the poem =]
Your rhyming is very good and the flow is consistant, excellent job

Very catchy. None of the words that were chosen could be changed to make it better. Falling for someone that you know is not right.. well, shxt happens.. I know, it happened to me. And when you think about them it's like you want to hurt them but you can't because.. you love them. It's a strong topic. Good Job (:

"Every time I think about you, my heart begins to break.
The hurt you placed upon my life, put everything at stake.
For the first time, I began to feel hopeful; hopeful for you.
But then you turned around, and all my fears came true."

-The rhymes where perfect. The third sentence kind of threw the rhythm a bit, but nothing major.

"Every time you're near me, my heart begins to race.
And lust begins to surface, for your perpetual embrace.
To feel the warmth of your lips, of an inescapable kiss.
Allowing me to fall deeply, into an everlasting abyss."

-"Inescapable kiss" was the perfect touch. I don't think I've ever seen those two words used in the same sentence before. Nicely done.

"Every time I feel you, I suppress the tears from falling.
I repress the pain inside, and resist the urge of calling.
I can feel my grip on reality, slowly fading to the past.
And who knows how much longer my sanity will last."

-My favorite stanza. There's absolutely nothing wrong with it. Your choice of words were amazing.

"Every time I see you, memories flash before my eyes.
I hide the hurt it causes, with my so-beautiful disguise.
It literally feels as though, you broke my heart in two.
And now I can't let go, because I fell so hard for you. "

-Often time I find the endings in poems a bit disappointing, because I feel as though the author didn't end it strongly enough or it just leaves the reader hanging. Yours didn't disappoint. Great job, I mean it.

A very emotional piece
It felt great reading it because of your choice of words that flowed so beautifully
The rhymes really were flawless
And i loved reading it.

This is such a beautiful poem, the rhyming is amazing, everything fit so perfectly and it seemed well planned out. The only thing i would change is in the line: It literally feels as though, you broke my heart in two.
I would change 'literally' to honestly to make it fit a little better, but other than that it was completly flawless :)
(sorry it took so long to comment, ive been busy)
~RayLeen 5/5

Wow. Honestly, I can't say anything here that hasn't already been said. Amazing job. Very captivating. I loved this. Beautiful writing and just a great job done. The emotion here is so strong, amazingly portrayed to readers.. Wow