Butterflies

I really enjoyed this and trust me, I and many others can relate. Although I think your lines may have been too long which might throw some off from reading it. Just something I've learned. Your rhyming was good although I found it a bit forced in some places. Otherwise I enjoyed this a lot! Keep writing
5/5

"I kissed the frog and skipped the prince.."

I love that line.. It's what we teengers do just to look for that one person.

Well done (:

This was truly an amazing piece of work. Your emotion put into the poem was truly amazing. I loved it. The way you did your poem gave me good imagry of what was happening. Good job 5/5

Tehehe i love your poem! i was just browsing and came across yours and let me say that you are talented! the only part that is missing a word is here:

"They warned me to watch out for scum like you but I said I could tell"
^^ you need an "a" between for and scum it broke the flow : /

but other than that you have a masterpiece i mean it was innocent but devious like a paradox in and of itself! but so clever : ) loved it ! definitely voted for you!!! 5/5

This ending wasn't meant for us; it wasn't supposed to be this way
I guess forever simply came too fast, I wish the pain could go away
You were the one who stopped my tears, brought a smile to my face
But you were also the one that brought the tears in the first place

^i love this part. intro to your poem was amazing. n i agree what u r sayin here. the ones that also bring the smile also bring the frowns n tears. i lubit!! flow was prettie nice

For a long time we tried to deny it, but we both know deep down inside;
Somewhere along the road, walking hand in hand, our butterflies died
They crumbled into little pieces and I tried putting them back together
I didn't think I would get over you, But I also thought it would last forever,

^powerful word u used here "our butterflies died" it's stand out n touched me the most. your emotions were poured out in lovely, deep words.

I thought I found the one; but I kissed the frog and skipped the prince
My butterflies knew that it simply wasnt right but I just wasnt convinced
They warned me to watch out for scum like you but I said I could tell
I wish I would've listened, for you just weren't ready to catch me as I fell

^awww... to say so far i wouldnt realie change a single thing or word from here. cause your writin is amazing and beautiful and sad.

I didn't want to believe that I could actually fall for someone like you
Because you were the one who killed my butterflies, now I'll kill yours too
You may not believe it but you wont get over me after I break your heart
Youre going to wish that you didnt hurt me, and that we were never apart

^oh wow!!! Anger i could actualie hear ur voice in my mind yellin a bit while i was readin this. it's indeed very powerful

This ending wasn't meant for us; it wasn't supposed to be this way
You were the one who was supposed to be hurt but dont worry youll pay
You'll never be able to love again; I'm going to hurt you like you hurt me
So get ready, you're going to perish because payback's a b i t c h,

^you trulie did an amazing job here. you have a way with your words. n true payback is a ..... i trulie love it. one of the most amazing poem i read so far from here that realie actuailie touched me. i'm voting for this one
5/5

TaKe CaRe,
Frenchy