Pure innocence

I sit here completely drunk
Because of a past life so unkind
Wishing the thought would simply
Disappear from my mind

I keep imagining the son I would've had
Had it not been for you
I remember how i pleaded
Begging you it wasn't true

You took him from me
Before i could hear him cry
Here I sit wishing he was here
Listening to my lullaby

I guess this is redemption
Payment for all my sins
But when a child is never born
Tell me who really wins

And for that god
You will remain unforgiven
I live in spite of your wishes
You can say I'm simply pain driven

But how long can I keep breathing
Knowing he never took his first breath
I want to see you so bad
I'm here praying for death

But I'm a changed man now
I guess I'm pure in a sense
God you'll never be forgiven
You took from me pure innocence

To James (my unborn son)
Based on past events.