This well written poem seems to describe the torment of OCD's

Wow, I really like this one. It's such a unique poem! I'm just curious how you thought to write about this? The flow is okay. The rhyming is kind of off but it has a good flow. the emotion is absolutely amazing.

Soda E>

This was really great. the concept is so orginal. I loved it. Very insightful. Keep it up. Shanik

Very very nice. very intense...did not want it to end at all. 5/5!

This one was really cool!
I really enjoyed reading it. It reminded me of beautifully written chaos.
i like it a lot. It also has a darkness to it.
Very well penned 5/5
-laura

OCD, Although I do not have this disorder, I live with it everyday so I can understand your words. My husband has OCD. His takes the form of neatness and everything and I mean everything has to be in order. Don't give up hope. I have found that as he ages the OCD seems to be less severe. Well done. 5/5

This is a inplausible poem - you need to research OCD before you write about it, there was not one point in this poem where I believed the narrator had it. What you could have done is taken the concept and delivered it without the repetition and the form, which doesnt compliment the message at all. As far as I know, people with OCD tend to have strict rules about order, numbers is a very small aspect of it.

'Swaying to and fro like a tree in a storm'

Was a strange simile, since you suggested a line above that the numbers are 'running' then you suggest they are swaying? Confusing.

'Numbers Numbers
Please leave me be!
There are too many numbers
For me to clearly see'

This piece has original concept but the delivery is unimaginative. It's almost..immature =/ Realise I'm not being mean here, I just feel that this could have been done so much better.

'Numbers Numbers
In my head
Won't leave me be, forever buzzing
Until I am dead'

Overdramatic. Although 'buzzing' could have been nice.

'Numbers Numbers
Still they last
With the burning images created
Though death came fast'

No, no, the wording is becoming desperate. I've actually started to become really annoyed at the narrator. The tense and grammar is off, too.

'Numbers Numbers
Whether in Heaven or Hell
If I get Dante's Inferno
Please give me an even level'

What is an 'even level'? This stanza does not belong in the poem, it's completely overdramatic. You could try this again, but I'm really not a fan of this particular effort.
I'm sorry and I really hope you realise this is nothing against you; I hope you are mature enough to take the criticsm :)

Wow very interesting. I liked it. I would LOVE it if you fix one little thing. I was shocked in the last stanza you wrote:

Numbers Numbers
Whether in Heaven or Hell
If I get Dante's Inferno
Please give me an even level

Why did you end the poem with the word
Level, first off it doesnt rhyme. and Second the word
Cell, like a prison cell would have been AWESOME.

cuz it would have raped the poem of perfect with a kick ass ending.

just a thought...

let me know what you think of my latest write. k

Well this was a different kind of poem. i have a bit of OSD my room and everything in it has to be clean and neat. or i'll go crazy. i dnt care bout the living room just my room. and this is weird but true i have to touch the doornob b4 i open it. well you did a realie nice job here. the flow was a bit of and on on sum part but the message was still strong and out there. i like it. keep it up.
5/5

TaKe CaRe,
frenchy