Need for Answers

Nice write. Exuberates a journey of self-discovery, a journey which many of the wise have embarked on. 5/5

'A feeling beyond your understanding.
Mixed emotions, heart is pounding.'

Admired the flow here, the rhyme wasn't forced, but your adressal was vague here, as the article 'A' is somewhat vague? Maybe that was your intention but what feeling exactly doesn't this person understand?

'Questioning your thoughts, following your heart.
But still nothing makes sense, it all just falls a part.'

Shame - you sort of overburden these lines with syllables, and that 'heart', 'apart' rhyme isn't that subtle. You're being overly vague. When writing a poem, avoid 'it, her, him, that, this' unless the reader knows what you're talking about. Yes, I'm aware you're probably referring to a relationship, but since we don't know what the 'relationship' was, then we can't gain empathy or sympathy for the narrator.

'Starring through open glass.
Watching clouds slowly pass.
Waiting to be rescued from this life.
Where all thats left is strife.'

You've changed tone here, you've become sort of...contemplative. There's not much in this stanza. It's like 'yeah, okay clouds pass', and the 'glass' could be expanded to form a metaphor and you wouldn't need the following three lines, as they don't really add anything special.

'I've been searching for some time now.
But theres only so much they allow.
Questions go unanswered.
Voices lost in crowds.'

Searching for what? And who are 'they'? I'm sorry, it's as if I'm reading it with no imagination but I'm only reading it how anybody who ever picked this poem up with no idea about writing would say. Of course you know what you're getting across, because you wrote it!

'Give me a reason
For our existence on this earth.
A piece is surely missing.
We have so much left to learn. '

It's a confused poem, unfortunately. You asked for comments, and I'll ever be is honest. You started with a different rhyme scheme, a different tone, a different approach and at the end it's almost...philosophical. This poem is far too vague, you need to open it out and explore the potential of the language in the piece.

Thanks for the share. :)

Haha..sorry about the typos...you're and right are spelled wrong haha.

Haha, wow...thank you. To be honest..i put this piece together in about 20-30 minutes. I read it over a few times and decided it was pretty decent. It's the first i've written in a while so i take your comment as a compliment :).

After suffering from writers block, this is the best i could come up with for now :P.

I appreciate your suggestions.
Strife was the only thing i could come up with..so your write it was a forced rhyme haha. Any suggestions for that?

One of the few poems I've read that I voted a five on despite its few weaknesses. I'll comment on them first and then tell you what I liked.

The fourth line--it probably should be revised for rhythm/flow. The first half of the line doesn't seem to work very well after the line before it. As a minor thing, apart is one word.

Starring--should be staring, only one r. (Minor thing.)

"Waiting to be rescued from this life" is much longer than the lines before it or after it. I'm not sure whether or not it needs to be changed, because you might have done that on purpose, but take a look at it.

Life-strife is a cliched and forced rhyme. I don't think you should use it. You could probably benefit from rethinking those two lines entirely.

That's pretty much all my criticism. I'm picky. Now for the good stuff:

Liked the style at the beginning with the fragments.

Third stanza is great due to the last couplet, which pulls it together perfectly.

Last stanza is so true, and very well executed.

Overall, great job. I don't *give* out fives. And you earned it.

If you want to comment back, I'd appreciate any input (I don't expect most people to get this detailed, lol) on any of my recent poems. But feel no obligation. :)