The passing

by katie   Apr 16, 2009


I closed my eyes with my last breath.
coming closer to so called death.
I see each ghost of my past.
hoping each would be the last.

death is pain, but so slow.
nothings better than when we go.
until each memory is gone.
we live in mind but with no beat.

The very first time you walked.
A time you fell a time you talked.
they all pass by so slow till death.
mine is far even after my last breath.

Yet I'm young.i lived my life.
even though an internal fight.
with each step a person knows.
the memories pass after blood no longer flows.

the passing fast.
the death with in.
feeding are self with are own sin.
let us die.
before are last breath.
because of memories I'm living ofter death.

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Latest Comments

  • 15 years ago

    by Travis

    This poem is good, there's a couple things that you might want to consider changing, like for some parts you rhyme, and then others you don't.
    It just doesn't flow as well
    But overall it was a good topic
    Really deep and straight to the point.
    4/5

  • 15 years ago

    by silvertung69

    Its a good poem katie,and with a few ajustments it will only improve what talent you have already shown.
    I would suggest.
    WITH death is pain yet FEELS so slow
    FOR nothings better then when we go,
    until each memory is but gone,
    we live in mind but without SONG.
    Your good katie, and with some practis you will only get better. keep writing.

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