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by RavishingEruption Apr 16, 2009 category : Love, romance / lost love
Pulsing through my veins Our love was deep and pure An aching heart and sadness True love; the only cure You had me from "Hello" Like a whisper on the wind I had a torn spirit That you alone could mend Promises of a lifetime Two hearts becoming one Loving through it all Our love a beacon like the sun But I've begun to falter I'm not who I was Life has begun to change Just like it often does Pressing into oblivion Not knowing what's to come A mistaken identity Kills the love that was
by Rachel RTVW
Pulsing through my veins Our love was deep and pure An aching heart and sadness True love; the only cure Good start You had me from "Hello" Like a whisper on the wind I had a torn spirit That you alone could mend Good rhythm .going, uniform with the first stanza Promises of a lifetime Two hearts becoming one Loving through it all Our love a beacon like the sun I love the poem until the last line of this stanza, the rhyme seems forced here. But I've begun to falter I'm not who I was Life has begun to change Just like it often does Pressing into oblivion Not knowing what's to come A mistaken identity Kills the love that was Good rhythm, flow and rhyme aside from the one line I pointed out. Nice job!