Twinkle Twinkle firefly
Soaring, gliding through the sky
Up above the night so far
Twinkle little moving star

^^ there is a funnie story with me with the song twinkle twinkle lil star, i like it tho. it's a firefly.

Flying off into the night
Safe are we till mornings light
Twinkle Twinkle firefly
Please don't go, or I will cry

^^ cute and sading. flow is prettie good

I want to run where I am free
No wall, no fences, to hold in me
Twinkle Twinkle firefly
Don't leave me here alone to die

^^ oh how i wish i could be free and fly around in the sky, flout to the stars and see dwn on earth not be on it. in the end you lost a bit of the flow but it was nicely writen
4/5

TaKe CaRe,
Frenchy

This was a very simple poem and it was right to the point. The poem had good structure and flow in it. This was another well written poem.

It's an interesting poem. The story is not the most original, but the way in which you presented it was. But, I can not get passed the fact it's rythme is "twinkle twinkle little star" This robs it of originality, and, even if you didn't intend it to, it makes it seem like a blantent rip off. But, over all, it is fair.

Peace and prosperity,

(RKD)

I hate contrived poems like this we have all been tempted at times to write one yet after reading three of your poems I am not surprised as a;though what I read showed promise there was not a one I enjoyed. Perhaps I should send this to you privately, yet there is no point as you no were I am coming from it may seem clever but it flop to me Ray S 4/5

This was a beautifully written piece. A clear beginning middle and end not to mention a perfect flow and rhyme.

I love the close correspondance it has to Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, the children's rhyme and yet it was different at the same time. The ending was saddening yet truthful. 5/5 Well Done. : )