Comments : It Wasn't You

  • 15 years ago

    by Lady Nik

    Feelings piling up like dirty laundry
    Weeks of emotions unable to escape
    I'm holding it in for way to long
    And it was you who threw me away

    *Wow love the first line. That's so original. I can really relate to what you're saying in this stanza. Very nice way to start*

    My body begins to shake like the leaves
    I'm scared of what might start to become
    So trying to to straighten myself out
    And it was you you kept the secrets

    *Nice work. I love the way you write. It's very simple but what your saying is so powerful. Very deep and emotional. I'm really loving this poem*

    My mind is scrambling with missing pieces
    I'm loosing memory of who you are
    Your becoming nothing to me now
    And it wasn't you who wanted to help

    *I love how you ended it. I like how each stanza had it's own set of emotions. This was like a little story. Very great work. Shanik*