Comments : Embraced With Serenity.

  • 15 years ago

    by Ingrid

    Temps,

    I liked the ears flopping free bit, that sounded so cheerful:)
    Is this about you dog, or about a horse? I am not sure..
    It was indeed a serene poem, though:)

    *hugs*

    5/5 Ingrid

  • 15 years ago

    by Sylvia

    Verse one could be about a horse or a dog and the second verse sounds like your dog you had writtent about. It will have to be readers choice since you have given a sense of mystery to this poem.

  • 15 years ago

    by The Prince

    Guess you're talking about a giraffe here? I just got that from the 'long legs' and the 'elongated neck'.

    To be honest Temps there's much to say about this poem; because you're basically describing an animal in poetic form. I can tell you though, I liked the calm tone of this poem, and I loved the subtle rhyme in the second stanza. It's a well written poem, and whilst it's not really original or emotive, it's just...nicely written. Advice for you though; you could have..got inside the mind a bit more, gave it more character. Minor typo on 'nostrils' by the way haha. But yeah, you could have give the animal a personality, because it's quite a physical poem. Add to it, I know people dont like going back to poems but you should if you actually wanna be a writer. Mess around with it. Keep what you have but give it more depth.

  • 15 years ago

    by Nee

    I felt like someone was giving me a warm hug while I was reading this poem.
    I really enjoyed this piece Temps, Though I don't know why didn't you post it in the about nature poems..
    Anyway, Loved the simplicity and the wording :)
    I only think you need some more metaphors to strengthen the poem, to make it more beautiful.
    Lovely one hun, thank you for this =)
    Keep them coming~