For years i would say
I am ready to give it up
The pain and the anger
The fear and the hatred
All the darkness in my soul
All the suicidal thoughts
I'd love to give it all away
Embrace things I'd forgotten
But for years i have only been lying
Lying to myself more then anything
I know now that hate and anger
Darkness and depression control me
So many years have passed without love
Without compassion
The very things
That would have kept me human
Void of the good and decent
I have grown dependent
Grown to count on the darkness
Running through my thoughts
For years i have said
All i want to do is be free from this pain
Said i wanted to let go of the hatred
Without realizing thats the only thing keeping me going
The day has come when i have stopped lying to myself
Its these words that are the truth. Truth i have long denied
That as much as i want to rid myself of this suffering
The pain that is killing me is the only thing left fulfilling me
