Plaintive Flame (Tanka)

by Mr. Darcy   Apr 23, 2009


Captivating dance
Reflects in my sombre heart.
Remember me dear.
How could I ever forget?
Tears fall as the candle dies.

M. Moran
23.04.09
10.10

Tanka is an unrhymed Japanese poem consisting of five lines of 5/7/5/7/7. It is generally written in two parts: The first three lines form the first part, and the last two lines form the second part. Tanka is not as restrictive as haiku and thus allows for a greater amount of emotional expression.

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Latest Comments

  • 15 years ago

    by The Prince

    This is a really nice poem. Your word choices were almost flawless; only one I had a problem with was 'mesmirise', since it's used so much. A good write from you - you master most forms you attempt. Good job, sir. :)

  • 15 years ago

    by Ingrid

    "Tears fall as the candle dies" ....so beautifully said, love.

    Some time ago I said nothing would ever make my fire burn again....but you never know, Michael. Love can hit you so suddenly and make you forget all about the past!

    Love you, my friend:)

    *hugs*

    5/5 Ingrid

  • 15 years ago

    by Sylvia

    This line, Remember me dear can be read a couple of ways. You could be asking if they remember you or you could be telling them to remember you. I take the candle dying as a love that is slowly burning down and out as a candle flame does. Well done.

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