Freedom Calls

Since when is 7.30pm in the afternoon!? :P

I feel the depth of this poem

Wow I could sense extreme boredom cause it made me think of being in school but this was a creative retreat from it all. I really really liked this alot. You have severe talent and use it well. I like how you made reference to a clock like time ticking away. For each a different feeling of should I say understanding but I really enjoyed this. This was a fantastic read and will be reading more of your art. ^_~"

Great job this poem was excellent. The flow was good an the rhyme you had in there was great. The imagery made it seem like I could hear the actual gong. Good job.

"Tick, tick;
the clock falls silent
giving space for the final gong,
your concrete jungles humming
in tune to freedoms song."

Great opening, the flow and rhyming here is flawless and reads very smoothly to me. Excellent opening that pulls the reader into the scene, and gives them many images and thoughts to ponder about.

"Tap, tap;
upon the desktops
anticipation takes its toll,
within our sheltered prison
false silence got the role."

I love how the first line in every new stanza is a sound, which is a nice touch, it sets the scene perfectly for the reader. The descriptions you portray are so vivid and clear, that they come alive in front of the reader. When you wrote "sheltered prison" I smiled, sometimes school feels like that, nice comparison!

"Click, click;
the pens surround us
like an army set for war,
with this world all packed away
eyes shoot toward the door."

I like your simile here, it keeps the reader captivated and interests the reader even more so. Great job so far, this is outstanding!

"Gong;
Freedoms calling
from a distance unknown.
Gong;
Freedoms calling
from a place we call our own."

This ending is well-worded as it sums up what is going on and leaves the reader satisfyed with what they read.

5/5 from me, you certainly have a way with words, keep that up!

God Bless You!

~MaryAnne