Acidic Tears. [Collab]

Sadness and depression, pain can cause people to do terrible things to themselves. Collab is well done.

I think the language here stopped it from boring me - it's a challenge writing a poem like this that doesn't suffer from lack of creativity like most. I think you did alright, considering.

'Acidic tears plummet, burning her flesh,
cheeks scorching hot from the endless pain.'

You could be less blunt with the 'acidic', though I like the idea of the burning here. The second line was extremely off putting, I didn't like it at all. It screamed pity without subtlety. Advice would be to lessen the intense language here. 'Pain' is horrible, replace that.

'Melancholy voices echo, disturbing the mind,
torture unbearable, pressuring her to let go. '

I was expecting rhyme here and I don't know why. I think assonance would benefit you both here. 'Melancholy' isn't right since it suggests singular and depicts loneliness, then you follow with plural; voices. Doesnt fit. Could say 'torture; unbearable'. To break it up a bit.

'Sharp blade glides one final time,
agony diminishes as she proceeds to cut deep.'

I like 'glides', it's more original than the usual. To suggest the contrast of agony diminshing was good. Nothing much to say here except the second line is a bit too long.

'Crimson beads arise upon pale skin,
sighs of relief released through tired lips.'

There'd be more than beads appearing haha, not a realistic image. I like it as an image but it doesn't fit here, if you get me? That's the only thing I have a problem with here though. :)

'Grasping this crashing life is impossible,
as it slides through cracked fingers.'

Too much of a contrast in 'slides' and 'cracked', perhaps a different verb. It brings back the image of glides though so maybe you could replace cracked? Not a big deal, just didnt seem to work for me.

Admired the attempt but I think the subject could be a little more mature. :)

This was a excellent poem and this poem had such great imagery that i could actually see the girl standing there with the knife. The flow of the poem was great and the rhyming was good as well. Overall this was a excellent poem and I give it a 5/5 for an good job. Keep writing

Dear Temps and Krista,

This was written really well and somehow it made me more understanding of how someone must feel who does this.
There is such immense sadness coming from these lines...it was really moving.

Good job girls, you are both winners in my book:)

*hugs*

5/5 Ingrid