Paper Wings

Awww it makes me sad that I was so late at commenting this. Bliss and Bri said everything :( Well anyways this was a very creative poem and I just loved your title. I like the two line thing you had going on to, very nice. You have a very unique and clever writing skill and this poem really reflects that. Keep it up sweetie. Nik

Krista! I loved the title!

"Wind blowing my hair, clouds around me,
making the biggest decision of my life."
^I liked the imagery you used here. It was as if I was there witnessing this with you. Because you used "life" in the previous two lines, I think this line would sound better as "making my biggest decision."

"Hope soaring above the highest mountains"
^Aww I loved that! When hope is strong, it does feel like its flying huh? Well said. :]

"Lifting my fragile paper wings to begin flight,
leaping from my personal solid, safe place."
^I loved the first line but for the second one I think it would sound better if you replaced "safe place" with "sanctuary" or "haven"

"Soaring among white clouds; blue skies --
finally free from the weight of my life. "
^I dont like how you used "soaring" here again maybe try "flying"

I loved the meaning behind this poem Krista because it something many can relate with. Taking that step into a better place in your life is a hard one because you dont know which direction to take and which is the right one. You just gotta believe with all your heart and have hope, the rest will be peachy. :]

You tended to come across as really repetitive with the word 'life' and maybe a few other words as well. But other than that, a great write, nice format, ect. I dont see much wrong with this, although I didnt like the repetition.. that did not go well.

Otherwise good job

I liked your poem^^. However the transition was a bit sloppy in my opinion in the first and second stanza and i would have really liked to see more description along those lines because they were rather broad.

My favorite line was

Waves of air rush past my expectant face,
my small paper wings proving their might.

OMG that so made my day, that one line in my opinion was fasicinating and a complete original and it really painted a picture in my head. NICE WORK.

Krista:)

Your poems are always so deep.
I love this one about reaching for the sky.

Lifting my fragile paper wings to begin flight,
leaping from my personal solid, safe place.

^^
This is how it starts, but as you go the wings turn to solid, strong wings:)

As a child I used to dream about being able to fly. It was my only escape out of a very frighting, abusive environment..this poem reminds me of that feeling I had way back then.

good work lil missy:)

*hugs*

5/5 Ingrid