Everyone feels like this in their lives i know what you mean. But itcan get better. I realized that relaxing and being calm in these tough situations is the best thing to do. Not exactly a poem more of rant but i feel you dude.^^

Perhaps if you tried not pushing away each and every one that has tried to get to you you would have gotten over your depression and self-destructive life sooner.
I can totally understand what you say though, I have had my dark ages too, and I'll say try to find a reason to live, and stop looking for a reason to die.