All the small things

The sights and sounds of this place have become enemy to me now
The wind whispers memories to me
And it seeps into all that I am
It stirs the rustled leaves insides me
They overwhelm and consume me

If only you had given me material things
Things I could now throw away forever in your absence
But how can I discard the mountains
Tall bold and strong
They stand above me and in their shadows I see your face
I see me stumble and your hand reach out to me
I see the world below through our eyes
Our finger tips touching just slightly
But I felt if I jumped down into the oblivion of this world
You would never be far behind
Picking me up once again

You gave me the horses
Who nibbled my clothing and nudged me
Who made me giggle and laugh with delight
Your face like the sun, shining on me
Making everything seem so much brighter
A new world
The rivers and the trees
That like young children we climbed up
Just to see who could get the highest
When you get so high, it is hard to get back down again
Back to reality

The songs I listen to threaten me with pain that I cannot endure
I recall your lips moving with the music
Your eyes never looked at your hands, for they knew alone where to go without guidance
Your grandmothers guitar held precious to you
Lost in your old world you sang the songs that opened up my eyes
To what I believed was something more than I saw

You gave me moments and feelings that I cannot be rid of
For they lie dormant in everything
There is no where I can look where I do not see you
The sea takes me back to the day we sat by and watched it
We watched the sunset hide behind the world and leave us in darkness
Your glow guided the way back that night as you picked up pebbles and threw them into the sea
The ripples like us, forever growing and expanding only to end up further apart
I did not see that then

So what would the god you believe in so much think of you now
What would he think of how you treat others, of your selfishness?
Of the hurt you let fall down like acid rain on the world for the sake of your own good
Well god forgives everything
I am sure he forgives you
But I am no god
And I have been wronged
And I will not forgive and forget

But I will try my best to move on
I'll take the memories, the feelings and hide them
Into the dark overloaded crevices of my mind
I'l find some room somewhere
For things best left alone
And in their I'll place you
I will not give up my trees and sky
For they brought happiness into my life before you
I will not stop conquering the mountains
But embrace them
for no matter how harsh the wind is, the storms, the rain
they never yield to it...

I am not lost without you
Nor do I no longer know who I am
For I am as I was before
Before the lies and pain
I am her once again

A little broken
A little scarred
But I am still me
And you can hurt me no longer