Watching

This poem lacked more in flow though was still a good piece. I think the I love 'you' is missing on the fourth line as well.

I like how you used a story to wrap around an everday occurence. It wasn't your best, but it wasn't your worst. 4/5

This poem was a bit too boring for me; you told the reader a lot and didn't really show much. The narrative was uninspiring and the the format you chose didn't compliment the content.

'I watched a normal woman once
she seemed stressed, tired, and distant'

You establish setting here but you told the reader she was 'stressed'. How about showing the reader? E.G. 'she paced back and forth' suggests anxiousness. You get me? Make the reader think.

'Drop off the kids, with no time to say
I love, stay safe at school'

What kind of narrator is this? A stalker or an omniscient narrator? If you were omniscient, you could detract from the 'watched' theme and make it like ' there was a woman' instead of 'I watched a woman'.

'She sped away in a new SUV
No rhyme or reason about her life
Busying her day with work, and stress
worrying about the time'

Yeah you've just described half the population.

'But when her day was over,
the kids safe and sound in bed,
she went to her loving husband saying
"Thank you for choosing me"'

I thought the last line was unrealistic and a bit strange since she can't say she loves her kids but she tells her husband thanks for 'choosing' me? Is she insecure or something? Stange.

The last stanza or 'message' came too quickly and what we're left is with 'oh okay', there's no real thought left at the end for the reader to go away with. I see what you could do with this piece. Expand it, show us more, and give this woman character. At the moment she's just a robot who you're describing to me with no detail. If your idea is to describe a normal woman with no character then there's no point in the poem.

Keep writing!

Lol, i like this, imagery, the tale, the simplicity of it, but behind it, the theology, but i guess thats me reading into lines that don't exist. 5/5

I will say as a person who as a rule structures rhyme I am no expert on free verse flow.
I feel you did maintain a great flow by virtue of consonant rhythm rather than vowel matches at the end of stanzas witch is less of a challenge for me. Sorry I am not qualified to criticize your choice of formatting

I felt a consistent theme that you brought to a wise conclusion

I enjoyed the poem too much to offer any changes

This was a pretty descent poem and it was really good. The flow was good right along with the rhyming. The imagery in the poem is really good with your word chose.