Comments : Shadow Puppets

  • 15 years ago

    by Bhavin

    "Inexplicable feelings

    capture my soul,

    thinking of you

    .....so heavy on my heart."

    This one creates a divine feeling while reading. It's so mesmerising.

    "Mind spins out of control.

    Desires locked deep within

    surface again

    .....burning"

    Losing control, filled with burning desires an apt way of showcasing and portraying the life.

    "Shadow puppets are we,

    pirouetting upon life's stage.

    Changing masks

    to our heart's content

    .....indulging

    savoring love in all its stages.

    With blind eyes I see you

    as you take my hand

    ...smiling all the way."

    This one's my favourite. Superbly described this pure feeling of love.

    Hail Ingrid Ma'am!

    Regards,
    Bhavin

  • 15 years ago

    by Sylvia

    A little different for you but nonetheless well done as usual. Shadow puppets, never really have the same form, always changing depending on the light. It seems you have described falling in love. Good job.

  • 15 years ago

    by Courageous Dreamer

    Wow was I ever blown away.. I could not believe how much your style and poetry has changed with this poem. Awesome write, every single word written flawlessly. I loved the form .. I admired your bravery in this piece, to step out and try something brand new.

    5/5. Temps[Beyond A Poets Mind]

  • 15 years ago

    by Ray Smallshaw

    Maya I hate cliches but WOW! This is the first of your poems I have read and I am adding it to my favourites list and you as a favourite poet.
    You must be well read and a poet of the first order to have produced a poem I wish I had written.
    My favourite poet on this site is Tasteless or whatever he is calling himself now and he is to me a true master of the art of poetrytoo, you may overtake him. I will stop the praise now as I want to read some more of your poetry excellent 5/5 Ray S

  • 15 years ago

    by anand singh

    Breathtakingly beautiful and a joy to read.
    Such beautiful words can only come from deep within a wonderful heart.
    Good job Ingrid.
    Keep up the great wotk.
    An enjoyable read.
    Paul...

  • 15 years ago

    by TJ Arizona Eagle

    Very unique and imaginative. A strange beauty "shadow puppets" It's beautiful and creative. Very Enjoyable read

  • 15 years ago

    by silent turbulence

    :)

  • 12 years ago

    by mandy

    "With blind eyes I see you" - awesome line!
    A creative poem, I loved your choice of words.
    5/5

    mandy :)

  • 9 years ago

    by Mr. Darcy

    Hello Ingrid,

    I wanted to ravel back through your work. I came across this and wanted to read it carefully, spend some time with you so to speak.

    Firstly 'shadow puppets' is a good title and like with all shadows have a deep rooted meaning in all of us. I remember being afraid of the tree branches outside my bedroom window each night. Were they witches arms trying to grab me? But, I do not think that these shadows are negative, no, as they are puppets, so they are probably safe - I hope! lol

    Inexplicable feelings

    capture my soul,

    thinking of you
    ^
    Ingrid, I like the layout of this work. The way you space out the lines allows this reader to comprehend each line individually without being diverted onto the next before I am ready.
    'inexplicable feelings' - when emotions become so engorged that words cannot describe them, words fail at these moments. But do they? The emotion is so powerful they hold a soul hostage. It is like you are saying that these feelings possessed you.

    .....so heavy on my heart.
    ^
    This line here preceding the ..... is another good way to allow the reader to pause and gives the piece more gravity...

    I use this effect too. I remember a person told me once, It may have been Erik, that using three dots is the correct way to add a pause in this way. Anyway, this is what I do now. Just a hint, I hope you do not mind.
    Mind spins out of control.

    Anyway, the line, 'so heavy on my heart' - this is showing the emotional weight, but with the word 'so' it is like adding more weight to the phrase, more emphasis of the stress.

    Desires locked deep within

    surface again

    .....burning
    ^
    I like this Ingrid. An relationship that had been forgotten, or maybe pushed to the back of ones mind suddenly is re-awoken and with it the emotional road trip so to speak. 'Desire' and 'burning' suggest a passionate relationship, sexual perhaps? I like the way you leave this reader hanging with a pause 'burning'...

    Shadow puppets are we,

    pirouetting upon life's stage.
    ^
    Intriguing lines here. Shadows are portrayals of a person that are not real. Here they are described as dancing. By the way I love the imagery created with the word 'pirouetting' A great metaphor for life. Are we not all puppets up on a stage being viewed by a higher consciousness?

    Changing masks

    to our heart's content
    ^
    I see what you have done, I think? Masks creating a different persona, pretending that we are someone else. This links up with a shadow being a different version, a more mysterious version of ourselves. Some people are adept at this and will morph to blend into any given situations, much like a chameleon.

    .....indulging
    ^
    Nice word left hanging here, suggesting that I realise what is going on, but I am going to allow it to pass for some time.

    savoring love in all its stages.
    ^
    Love stages. Realising the stages, but allowing them to run their course as this is the way of love and what a joy they are. Powerful emotions intended to stoke the fire and allow two people to bond.

    With blind eyes I see you

    as you take my hand

    ...smiling all the way.
    ^
    This is a wonderful picture you have painted here. Beautiful phrase too - 'with blind eyes I see you' This can be taken two ways. One, with eyes open I willingly go with you. Two, I am going with you, even though I am unsure.

    The smiling all the way, could also be taken in both contexts. I am curious which one you meant, Ingrid? If it is the latter, I am spooked and awed.

    Great write and full of deep meaning.

    (((hugs)))

    Michael

    • 9 years ago

      by Ingrid

      Thank you for this great comment, Michael!

      I indeed meant the latter:)

      (((hugs))) Ingrid x