This is a really descriptive and well worded poem =] The imagery you have ceated is beautifull and the structure of the poem works reallyvery well. Im not so sure about all the full stops in the first staza however perhaps you could put a comma after the second and then just one full stop at the end in order to make the flow more smoothe. Overall an excellent write, i enjoyed reading it!

This dark poem has beautiful imagery and I felt like I was reading a love poem save the last line
5>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

I like the writing in this, but the flow is a little off, it made it kind of difficult to get into.