The other night, I lit a purple candle
And set it quietly in front of me.
I looked at it's glowing flame,
Which seemed to be waving at my face.
I wrapped my hands around the candle
And with a silent voice I asked it
To bestow upon me spirituality and truth
And open my eyes to who I am and what the world is.
Now I'm wondering if that was the best thing to do;
To open my eyes to everything.
For now I fear I've seen things I didn't wish to see
And I've had to accept faces I wouldn't have seen otherwise.
I've admitted to myself things I didn't want to admit,
And I've ended things I never thought I'd end.
I've spoken words I didn't think I'd ever say,
And I've wished for things I've never wished before.
But now as I remember the purple candle,
I realize that I didn't know what I was doing
When I asked it to bring out the truth.
I thought I was telling it to bring out the truth in me.
And perhaps it did bring out the truth;
Perhaps I already knew these things,
And it just helped me to bring them to the surface.
But now I am sad about even thinking to do it.
But maybe this was the right thing to do.
I could not go forever in denial,
Pretending things weren't like they actually were.
Unintentionally, I opened my eyes to the things I needed to see.
And now I'm clear and pure,
For I see things how they are,
And I have released them one by one.
I've released the negative influences in my life.
But I am sad that I've had to let go,
Let go of a friend, let go of a false happiness,
Let go of a future, let go of a past.
It's been hard to let go.
But I've done it; I've let go,
And now my life is pure.
I can start over.
I can be happy.
Now I light the purple candle again,
And I thank it for its help,
And I ask it to keep blessing me with truth,
And I snuff it and exhale.
I just exhale.
I exhale sadness,
I exhale negativity.
I exhale hate.
And I inhale love.
{later, I look at how I acted and what I said
and the names they called me.
And I realize that what I've done is self-centered,
But sometimes you have to be self-centered
In order to not let yourself be stepped on.}
