Paradise is being able to walk without having to watch your step. Its being able to speak without minding your tongue. Its being free to think and feel in a way that people cannot guilt you for. My paradise is waiting out there. Maybe I will never reach it. Maybe I will be lying on my back in the hot desert wearing my gear and slowly bleeding out, and that cold feeling rushing up my body will be my paradise calling to me. Maybe when its over and I have been given a soldiers funeral, maybe then I will have reached my paradise. Or it can be that I will never reach it or that I already have and it sucks so bad that I have to keep going just to forget and to deny that was what I had been living for. I think I would prefer my soldiers death. Then I could just close my eyes and not have to regret anything.
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To clear up some things.
i am going to become a soldier
i am going to fight
i might die
