This may not be one of the strongest that I've read from you today. It seemed weaker in the repeats, and not as ballenced ans some of the other one's that you've written so far.

This one is a little better than the first one. It's good, not great. I would like to see some more details instead of the chorus repeating. I guess it leaves us off with some mystery but I don't like mystery. I like it when it gets straight to the point. The flow is a lot better. The rhymes are still a little forced. But when I sing it, it sounds a little off still. I think you should explore some vocab.

Soda E>